Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Of being so over this

Alright.

You clearly do not hold yourself to blame.

Fine. You don’t know what is wrong until someone tells you your fly is undone. Do you rely heavily on others to manage you? Do you wait for handmaidens to come at your every beck and call? What gives you the right to presume such sense of entitlement? You’re a grown-up for cat’s sakes! Can’t you analyze you doings and dealings with others and see the patterns that develop?

Therefore we’ll dissect a sample of what you are:
1.        1. A macho hombre.
2.       2. A dominating, dominant, tough guy.
3.       3. A charging bull.
4.       4. A multifaceted, sensitive man.
5.       5. A “simple guy.”
6.       6. A tempestuous personality.
7.       7. A very friendly person.
8.       8. A “take it as it is” kind of guy.
9.       9. Opinionated.

Now, we’ll do the same for me. 
What I am:
1.       1. Mercurial.
2.       2. Vindictive.
3.       3. Artistically inclined.
4.       4. Intractable.
5.       5. Willful.
6.       6. Passionate.
7.       7. Misanthropic.

And you’re not:
1.       1. A psychic.
2.       2. A wizard.
3.       3. The village idiot.
4.       4. A jerk.
5.       5. A two-faced tray.
6.       6. A manipulative user.
7.       7. A big baby.
8.       8. An incorrigible flirt.

And I stand against:
1.       1. Mind games.
2.       2. Double-standards.
3.       3. Double-talk.
4.       4. Underhanded spite.
5.       5. Denial.
6.       6. Unaccountability.
7.       7. Liars.
8.       8. Pre-judging others.

Can we see a pattern developing? In a case of
He said, She said this will make a nice screwball comedy but no … in real life it just leads to much dissatisfaction and hurt.  You make half-assed attempts and call it your final try by presenting me with a symbol of my own failures? Are you that sadistic? Is my silence that much of a burr you find solace in spitting in my face? Do you deny the whines and moans of your working life when I’m trying to cope with my own empty one? Can anyone be that reality-impaired?

No, I refuse to capitulate to a caterwauling brat. If thinking treating others as ciphers for your own amusement is within your right then I’ll leave you to it. I promise I’ll remain unjudging, and love the fancies you represented. But my eyes are now open, and I see the fantasy for its blasted surface.

Empty.

Perilous.

Unfulfilled. 

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