It is almost amusing the things some would do.
Really.
The impetus for this entry is that apparently certain persons have taken it upon themselves to tell yours truly how to live. And that was me being kind.
Now, I wouldn’t be the first one to point any fingers but a certain inference must be done to make things clear. And to you gentle readers, the events depicted herewith are not in chronological order.
* * *
PERSON “A”: To those who know me—well enough or not, you decide—I am not exactly a pious man. While I will admit I am Muslim, I am hardly the posterboy. There came one Friday that “A” decided to lecture me on my own religious/moral failings—simply because I told him (tongue in cheek) that I didn’t go for my Friday prayers due to ‘MENstruation’
Yes, I know it’s tasteless but it seemed funny in my head at that time ...
So I availed myself to his lecture for 30 minutes, nodding patiently (and wondering if he got laid last night?) until he asked me if I had any plans that Friday night? I told him I’m trying to finish this absolutely riveting historical novel about Eleanor of Aquitane. He told me I’m a stuffed shirt and that he is off to "go cruising tonight ..."
Yes, gentle readers. You read it. He said those exact words.
I pointed out to him that he just gave me the ‘brimstone and hellfire’ lecture and 5 minutes later admitted he’s out to engage in pre-marital butt-sex?
It seemed the planet ought to tilt on its axis at such skewed logic.
* * *
PERSON “B”: This one is slightly different. Yet, it is oh so disturbingly similar that I wonder if I am in a pattern of attracting the psychologically undeveloped.
This one when I was chatting with “B” regarding my DnD campaign. The usual ping-pong of Q&A ensued, discussions and ideas lobbed back and forth and it seemed to me “B” understood my demands (as DM) when it comes to game-play.
Alas, it is not to be. Not only did “B” misinterpreted me, he took it upon himself to include mechanics not vetted and included in my current setting. Now, as a player I could certainly understand the concept of ‘power-playing’ but “B” kept telling me (ad infinitum, ad nauseam) that he understood and it was never his intention to cheat. Truly.
It got quite heated that a third party had to get involved. And la, the process itself was quite distressing. I had to endure about an hour of waiting for “B” that not one, but three buses had already left for our mediation. And when called, “B” told me he has been there for the past 10 minutes!
And on a separate occasion, he had the nerve to show up 45 minutes late! And no, gentle readers, there were no apologies forthcoming. I admit, after various interactions with him, I am not exactly holding my breath with this one.
* * *
PERSON “C”: Now, I am quite well-known for being fussy when it comes to certain things. Not quite Bree Hodge (nee Mason) from Desperate Housewives, but it can be just as trying for those not used to my quirks.
I ask you gentle readers, is confirming an appointment too difficult a task? It is apparently so, to this next chap.
Not only were our appointments rescheduled and vetoed several times over (in a space of two weeks, no less), but it only came in at last minute and only because I called first (my anal-retentive streak at work) to find out about it. Is common courtesy the next to-be-extinct virtue, doomed to follow big-brother chivalry?
Lackaday, I admit to a touch of choleric display when confronting “C”. It is not becoming to lose one’s composure but there is only so much one can take ...
* * *
PERSON “D”: A gracious host is always well-regarded. And in today’s times of fast-paced entertaining, a truly masterful one is a gem in a million. It is my belief, that regardless of the guests’ familiarity with the host, the latter is obligated to offer some refreshments—even if it is just a humble glass of water.
Sadly to say, not only was I left dry for close to 2 hours, I had to point out to him that my parched throat was about to expire. Not surprisingly, there were no offers for food from our host—it is not expected of course, as I am not attending a dinner party!—so I called for food (delivery services are a godsend!).
The food arrived and as I tucked in, our host and other guests began to eat from my food as well. The nerve of some people.
What happened here? Is the host so destitute and miserly he had to rely on this one guest to feed the others? Talk about cheapskate! But I suppose, I shouldn't be surprised; he several times shortchanged me whenever it was time to settle accounts.
* * *
PERSON “E”: A long-lost friend is always a delight when finally found. At least, in theory that’s how it is supposed to be ...
Can you imagine that an old college-mate of mine is a celebrity? I am truly happy that he has found his niche. Especially after failing at other things he tried his hands at ... as friends we must be supportive of his successes where he finds them.
It is regretfully tainted by his blatant requests for “pussies”. It can be safely assumed the ones he requires aren’t the four-legged type, else it’ll be just too bizarre!
Yes, gentle readers. The same TV personality/model/actor decided that his old friend could serve him better as a pimp. I suspect even if I were to accept such dubious honour, I will not be entitled to a cunt--I mean, cut.
* * *
The irony of it all is these are just some of the people who seem to be so free to heap assumptions that all is not right with me: Selfish, Malicious, Vengeful, Moody, Obsessive-compulsive, Overly anal-retentive, Illogical, Screaming Drama Queen ... Aaah, the list goes on and on and on, but I shall refrain from straining the eyes of you gentle readers. It is enough to know that weirdos do not exist solely in movies, they walk the Earth!
I believe it is not so difficult to act, or at the very least observe some rules of propriety. As a dear friend of mine pointed out: We’re not looking for saints ... just someone who is socially functional.
